According to Psychology Today, emotions will drive our decision-making whether we like it or not. As inherently emotional creatures, it’s impossible to separate feelings from our decisions. The difference between making good and bad emotion-driven decisions is our ability to interpret and understand the emotions that drive us.
The “gut feeling” that we often experience during a situation is the physical demonstration of these emotional responses. Now, you’ll hear varied pieces of advice regarding a gut feeling — some say to always listen to it, others say it’s better to ignore it and err on logical decision-making. It can be argued that the “gut feeling” is an evolved biological function meant to keep us from danger. They are all, however, rooted in emotion.
Ultimately, it’s valuable to recognize that emotions serve a purpose. It’s not healthy or effective to ignore emotions in the decision-making process. Allowing them to rule you, however, is something else entirely.
That’s why we must all work on our emotional intelligence. Emotions are the quick, subconscious interpretation of a situation. We can spend time unpacking the logistics and rationale — and it’s good to do so — but recognize the value in what you feel.
4 Signs of Deep Emotional Intelligence
I think we simplify emotional intelligence. Oftentimes, we talk about it in terms of reading and interacting with others, but the bulk of emotional intelligence is dedicated to understanding your own inward feelings. In turn, this allows you to better communicate those feelings and understand the feelings of others.
This results in emotional clarity, something we need to make good decisions.
But how do you become emotionally intelligent? What are the signs?
1) You understand your emotional motivations.
In the workplace, a predominant emotion we experience is fear. This can be anxiety, but it ultimately comes down to a fear of missing deadlines, having poor performance, or somehow failing at your job. This often comes out as stress. You can use stress and anxiety as powerful motivators, but only if you understand them and your innate response.
For some, these feelings are crippling rather than motivating. Examine yourself and your life to see how you have responded to different emotional reactions and states. You will learn what motivates you and what shuts down your ability to make clear decisions.
2) You’re reflective.
Those with high emotional intelligence (EQ) are highly introspective. The concept here is self and social awareness. Rather than ignoring emotions or taking them at face value, we dive deeper. What are your emotional strengths? Does stress or anger motivate you? What about weaknesses? Does anxiety make you stop in your tracks? We each have areas of emotional strength and weakness to unpack.
You can grow your areas of weakness by better understanding when and why you feel certain crippling emotions. Even these can be capitalized upon for personal growth and more robust, thoughtful decision-making.
3) You receive criticism well.
Do you know someone who has an emotional reaction to critique? Maybe they take it personally and become distant, angry, or depressed. A sign of emotional intelligence is the ability to take and consider criticism fairly. While the goal is not to “control” emotions, seeing how they influence your thoughts and reactions can also help you process information regardless of them.
While you may feel offended at first, you can also see the value in what’s being said — even if it only reveals to you how others are thinking and perceiving you and your work.
4) You recognize where emotions cause sabotage.
Let’s be honest: we know how to use emotions for bad, bad things. Someone with high emotional intelligence recognizes emotional manipulation from others. Those who are selfish or manipulative will capitalize on your emotions for their gain and your loss. This may be giving you a “guilt trip,” or strategically asking you for things when you’re in a particularly vulnerable, charitable mood.
Many times, these people employ tactics to make you feel rather than understand the full scope of any situation — prompting and emotional response that falls in their favor.
For us, it’s valuable to see these warning signs in others and protect ourselves from manipulation and sabotage. This begins with understanding the why behind your own emotions and seeing how certain emotional triggers affect you.
Do you find your emotions affect your decision-making and motivation? Share your experience in the comments.