One of the most dreaded things for any person, in any context, is to say no to someone. We don’t like to disappoint people. Even when strangers ask for help, I can’t help but feel a twinge of doubt or regret when I can’t spare what it is they need. It’s even more true of friends, family, and colleagues.
In business, we inevitably have to say “no” to some of the things asked of us. Because people-pleasing is rampant, many of us struggle to turn an opportunity or assignment down. We want to be seen as having that eternal can-do attitude. We want to do a good job. We don’t want to leave anyone high-and-dry.
I’ve come to recognize the necessity of “no” in both my personal and professional lives. However, learning to say “no” didn’t come easy. Not only do we have to navigate the how of it, but the when and why. In what circumstances do you need to turn things down? How do you do it gracefully and without hurting your relationships?
Here’s what I’ve come to learn about saying “no” in business.
3 Tell-Tale Signs You Need to Say “No”
1) When the Arrangement Isn’t Mutually Beneficial
We’re not talking about doing favors, here. It’s not even to say every request should come quid pro quo. However, we have to learn to say no when the proposal is not the right fit. In an ideal working world, our clients, tasks, and opportunities would always be beneficial for everyone. We get to work on things that progress our careers, skills, and reputation while the client receives the best-possible deliverables.
Sometimes we can say yes to things that are just a time and money sink. The payoff will not be worth it for your bottom line and it wasn’t even the right fit to begin with. Recognize where your strengths are and play to them. If you know you aren’t the best pick and it will distract you from what you should really be doing, politely decline.
2) It Takes You Away from Your Priorities
We’re constantly pulled in a thousand directions. It’s part of the plague of workplace busyness. We all need our own goals and priorities as professionals. This should guide what you do and do not pursue. You can become distracted from your priorities and goals. We can only accomplish so much in a day, so it is important that you focus on what actually demands your time and energy.
3) You Know You Can’t Give It 100%
We perform the worst when we’re stressed and distracted. This commonly happens when we take on too much. Saying “yes” to everything is really a way of saying “no,” because we will never be at our best when doing it. If your schedule is already overloaded and you know you won’t be able to deliver the best results possible, say no — for the sake of your reputation and out of respect for the person asking.
3 Ways to Prepare to Say No With Grace
1) Be Grateful for the Request
Part of maintaining a good relationship with the person making a request is to respect and be grateful for that request. Remember, you aren’t being asked in a plot to inconvenience you. You’re being asked because that person believes in your expertise and skill at accomplishing the task. Whether or not they are right in that thinking doesn’t matter. They value you enough to ask because they think you’re the right man for the job.
So when turning the opportunity down, thank them for asking.
2) Don’t Give in to FOMO
When you start saying no, you will absolutely miss out on opportunities. Some of us can’t stand that thought. We can get wrapped up in “what-ifs” and “if-onlys” when we turn down an opportunity. Accept that you can’t do everything. Not every opportunity is going to be your big break and even if it was lucrative for the next guy, it just wasn’t meant to be. Learn to be happy doing what you’re doing rather than chasing every opportunity for fear of missing out.
3) Choose Low-Risk “No”s
If you’re someone who always says yes to things, you can learn to say no simply by practicing. While saying no to a client might petrify you now, saying no to a reward card offer in the checkout line, no to dessert, or no to going out to eat can help you learn to embrace “no” in other areas of life.
Say no to things you don’t want or need — to the things that hurt your health and your wallet. When saying no rewards you, you will be more likely to embrace no in a higher-stakes environment.
How do you navigate saying “no” to business opportunities? Share your thought process in the comments.