Most of us, at some time or another in our lives, had big ambitions. Maybe you’re remembering being a fresh-faced college student with dreams of fancy degrees and big earnings. You might think about that big promotion and living in a beautiful house. I think we often confuse ambitions with dreams. Ambitions are the things we set out to accomplish — we make moves and game plans and strive. Dreams are those things we would like, but we either never pursue or never make real plans to get there.
Ambition is great. Wanting to accomplish big goals for yourself personally or professionally is admirable. However, I think we limit our ambitions far more often than we realize.
We spend a lot of time and energy thinking about what it takes to get there that we can get lost in the weeds and not really make any progress at all. Don’t be self-limiting. Recognize the ways we limit and sabotage our own ambition.
4 Behaviors That Limit Your Success
1) We Box Ourselves In
I’m a goal-guy. I like having goals and plans. I have to be careful, however, not to be too rigid with either. You see, goals can quickly become limiting to our own ambition. Because we do establish these visions for ourselves and our future, we begin to believe that anything short of this vision — anything different — is inherently not-as-good. It’s a failure.
This isn’t true! Think about relationships. We’ve all dated someone who hoped would be “the one.” We had dreams of a home and children together. But now, looking back, you can see that’s not really who you were really supposed to be with. You’re in a better place now than you ever would have been in what you thought was the best future you could have.
Don’t allow your dreams, your goals, your ambitions, to close you off from other great possibilities. There’s plenty out there for us. Don’t be so rigid that you ignore the opportunities that are right in front of you. Allow your goals to change when they need to. It’s okay.
2) You Develop a Fear of Failure
I think everyone, to one degree or another, fears failure. That said, failure is an unavoidable part of the human experience. We’ll fail. We’ll mess up. When we are faced with repeated failures and disappointments, it can draw us to a place where we don’t even believe our ambitions are possible. We shy away, play it safe, and do everything we can just not to fail.
This kills ambition. Out of our failures can come wisdom. Use it to achieve, not to fall back.
3) You Don’t Prioritize the Right Things
Distractions are everywhere in this day and age. Priorities can pose a problem. Maybe you’re not in an ideal situation right now. You feel like there are too many irons in the fire, too much to do, too many people to please. The more you seek out these things, the more you take on, the less you will be able to see your vision. This isn’t to say that being single-minded is ideal. Obsessing doesn’t help, either.
But we have to prioritize. What really matters to you right now? It might not be your ambition. It might be your family. Take the time to recognize where you are so that you can devote the time and energy to what really matters for you. It’s far better than doing several things not-very-well.
4) We Can’t Delay Our Gratification
We learn about delayed gratification as children. No, you can’t have dessert before you eat your vegetables. You have to wait until Christmas Day to unwrap your gifts. And yet, many of us struggle with delayed gratification as adults in the professional world.
A perceived lack of progress or recognition can hit hard. Maybe we’re afraid it will never happen for us. It’s taking too long. It’s too much work, it won’t be worth it in the end. Because we want things now in our instantaneous, self-serving world, few people have the patience to work for their big ambitions anymore. We settle for something smaller, something lesser, because we can have it now.
Don’t be afraid of sacrifice. Practice patience. Persevering is the only way anyone gets anywhere of value.
What has stopped you from pursuing your ambitions fully? Share how you overcame in the comments.