There are few people who would say that they like criticism. We claim to like and appreciate feedback, but even that can sting. We find ourselves putting up walls to rebuff the things that we would rather not hear. In leadership, the ability to process and utilize criticism is so necessary.
This much is true: in life, we will be inevitably confronted with criticism and feedback, both wanted and unwanted. The key is in how we respond to this criticism. You can let it drag you down or you can use it to your advantage.
6 Ways to Utilize Criticism Effectively
1) Don’t take it personally.
When it comes to taking criticism, the most common caveat is “don’t take it personally.” While it can seem like glib advice, it’s worth heeding. So many times we put our identity and sense of self into our work. Because of this, criticism can come off as profoundly personal. Keep this in mind — sometimes criticism doesn’t really have to do with the quality of your work or your ability to produce. Sometimes it is truly a matter of perspective and opinion.
When we take criticism personally, we can wind up dwelling on it in unhelpful and unproductive ways. People are wrapped up in their own work and in their own problems and have their own perspective that may differ — even conflict with yours. This is natural! So when criticism comes your way, listen...and tell yourself it’s not personal.
2) Recognize perspective.
I hinted at this, but everyone has a different perspective. We each have our own life experiences, education, and worldviews that influence our judgment. This is important to recognize so that we:
Better understand the source and reasoning behind criticism
Listen with open minds
Discover new ways to approach and tackle issues.
There’s something profoundly beautiful about being around people with different experiences and perspectives. Through this, we can not only prevent the dreaded echo chamber, but we can gain new knowledge to help us innovate with wisdom and empathy.
3) Don’t invent bad intentions.
Very rarely are people seeking to hurt you and bring you down with their feedback. While we’re all familiar with horror stories, the reality is — in most cases — people aren’t trying to hurt you, your confidence, or your career. In fact, good leaders criticize because they want others to see and reach their full potential. Constructive criticism isn’t designed to damage. Quite the opposite. It is designed to help us see flaws and improve our work and the process that creates it.
When we default to thinking people are being rude or malicious, it becomes an excuse to ignore their feedback.
4) Kill your inner people-pleaser.
I think a great many of us share people-pleasing tendencies. While there’s nothing wrong with wanting to make others happy, focusing too much on it can become a detriment. We have to understand that we won’t please everyone. Changing course at every critique is not always wise. You have your position for a reason — you have the knowledge and the skills to create good work. Don’t let the criticism of others destroy your vision. This is an area where we need discernment. What feedback is truly important and valuable? What feedback is more subjective and less valuable?
Sift through criticism with this lens rather than focusing on what makes people “happy.”
5) Take a step back.
The process of taking criticism can bring up emotions. We may find ourselves getting angry and defensive. This is not the time to try to consider and analyze critique. Take a step back if you feel strong emotions towards feedback or the person giving it. Allow yourself time to think about what was said and how it can be used for your benefit.
6) Understand that you can be better.
Not one of us is perfect. Even those at the very top of their fields are fallible. In order to take criticism well, we have to recognize that we can always be better. Believing that we’re incapable of error, always right, never wrong, creates room for egomania and squeezes out opportunities for self-improvement. You can always learn more, grow more, and be more.
Part of that process means opening ourselves up and listening to those around us — regardless of who is “right.”
What are your best strategies for handling constructive criticism? Share your process in the comments.