We’re all strained in one way or another lately, it seems. I know I keep writing about it, but the COVID-19 pandemic is just something we cannot ignore. I’m affected, you’re affected. Our friends, our neighbors, our families and communities each have been impacted.
My hope during this time, as I write, is not to fill this space with doomsaying or extra stress. Far from it! Each time I get these thoughts down, it is my hope that you will find something encouraging and helpful.
As many of us face upturned schedules and the readjustment of a work-life balance, there’s something big at stake. More than our careers, we have to be mindful of our relationships with our families. Working from home presents its own share of challenges whether you’re self-quarantined or not. Even for those of us who work from home regularly, there are challenges, particularly when it comes to setting boundaries and clearly defining the lines between one’s life and one’s work.
I think most of us recognize that the image of self-quarantine as a chance to watch Netflix and “extend” Spring Break are false. We’re bearing more stress, and upheaval of schedule, and the pressure of sustained productivity during a global health crisis.
Understandably, this creates tension between our relationships. For those of us working from home, especially with young children and no access to childcare, fighting the new family dynamic while trying to work can be nothing short of frustrating.
However, there are steps you can take to prioritize the health of your relationships, even as you continue your work during self-quarantine.
3 Tactics to Maintain Healthy Family Relationships During Self-Quarantine
1) Don’t look for normal.
I’ve heard people refer to the “new normal” quite often over the past month. While there is merit in retaining some sense of normalcy, we also have to recognize areas in our lives that demand change to function effectively. You can’t work from home as you do at the office — especially when your “coworkers” are young children, moody teenagers, or your spouse.
We have to change the schedule and rhythm of our days if we want to avoid the burden of added relationship stress. It’s easy to get worked up when we’re “behind” or when we keep being interrupted. In close quarters, we’re bound to get in one another’s way.
I think a key here is to be okay with a less-than-perfect, less-than-normal way of working. You may have to trade work time with your spouse while watching the kids. The truth is, things aren’t normal.
Our culture of productivity tells us that we can’t stop, we must maintain the same output, the same level of work, that we always do — even if there is a global pandemic.
Here’s the truth: we’re all dealing with grief.
Not only can we not expect our daily lives to function the same way while stuck in close-quarters with our families, but we cannot expect (or demand) of ourselves the same things we did in a pre-pandemic world. We’re grieving. We’re fatigued by stress and anxiety.
We do what we can, but expecting “normal” during this time sets you and your family up for failure. There is something to be said for doing your best under trying circumstances!
2) Set aside family time.
As we try to get our work done from home, there will be a temptation to blur those lines between work and life. It’s crucial, however, that you dedicate time to your family or spouse. This is time not to work, but to engage and love your partner and your kids. It’s easy to become absorbed in work, adopting that “always-on” mentality that keeps us from fully engaging with our families.
Set aside family time. You might not get everything done because of it, but sometimes — many times — this is a worthy sacrifice. Our days might be filled with frustrations and inconvenience, but we do have a gift hidden in it all: the chance to spend more time with our loved ones.
3) Show appreciation and encouragement.
Tensions are going to run high. We’re stressed, depressed, and anxious. We’re having to figure out how to make it all work as well as we can while in less-than-ideal circumstances. Something we must do for our partners and kids? Be an encourager. Appreciate them. If we’re not careful, we can slip into frustration and negativity. We can wallow in despair and sit in a cycle of negative thoughts.
If you want to make it through this thing with your relationships in tact, you have to look for the good. Thank your partner for running to the grocery store for everything, for making dinner, or doing extra work around the house. Thank your partner for watching the kids so you can get in a few precious hours of work. Thank your kids when they don’t add to the stress.
Appreciate, vocally, the time spent together. And most of all, be a voice of hope and encouragement. You’re doing a good job. We’ll get through this. I don’t know, but I’m here for you. I’m glad we have time together.
Be the leader and encourager in your family — appreciate the small things, even when the big things are overwhelming.
How are you prioritizing your family relationship during self-quarantine? Share your experiences in the comments.