When we think of the characteristics that make a great leader, we don’t tend to think of listening skills immediately. However, you will find in leadership that it is the more humble, the more unseen skills that really push leaders from good to great. You can be a charismatic speaker, you can have magnetic charm, you can have incredible and innovative ideas — but if you don’t know how to listen well, your success in leadership will be temporary at best.
We live in times that are full of strife. Opinions tend to be divided with little tolerance for real dialogue. Not only are listening skills necessary for effective leadership, but they are increasingly needed in our world today.
We think we know how to listen well...but do we really?
5 Listening Habits That Make Leaders Truly Great
1) You wait to respond.
Those of you with assertive personalities, such as myself, likely struggle with this one. We think a mile a minute! We want to get things done and get them done right. Too often, this can bleed over into our listening skills. We begin to listen to people as we would approach a problem to fix. As others talk, we’re already formulating solutions and responses. Sometimes, we even interrupt. An assertive personality can be great. We must be careful, however, that those assertive tendencies don’t lead to a belief that we always have the answers, that we know where the conversation is headed, and that we don’t have to stop and listen with our full attention.
Don’t split yourself between trying to listen and trying to think or formulate a response. Trying to multitask only causes one, or both things, to suffer.
2) You look for something to learn.
One of the most important things we must do when we listen is to orient ourselves in the right mindset. Are you listening to understand? To learn? Or are you just being polite when your mind has already been made up about a situation or topic?
Listen. We all can learn from different perspectives and life experiences. Don’t discount others! Instead, focus on hearing something new. Focus on trying to understand with compassion. Listen — really listen — to what is being said.
3) You listen to what isn’t said.
Sometimes the most important things being communicated aren’t the things people say. Great leaders and thus, great listeners, know to pay attention to the unspoken details. You see body language, you pay attention to pauses, stutters, and inflection. There is so much information we can learn from these often subconscious signals. They tell us how people feel and where they are struggling.
Listening means being present and engaged with the whole conversation — not just on the words being said. Body language is complex, but the more you listen and read the unspoken words between the lines, the more effectively you can understand and communicate with others.
4) You recognize what makes your listening weak.
As leaders, it’s critical that we are honest about our weaknesses. If you’re extroverted and a happy conversationalist, you’re more likely to dominate conversation than to listen well. Maybe you have a passionate, bombastic personality. Your ideas are great, you really care, and you want to share with others. Be wary — this can lead to your steamrolling over others.
Maybe your first reaction to criticism is defensiveness or anger. Both reactions can negatively impact your ability to listen and effectively communicate. Be mindful of your own habits and tendencies and how they can impact your capacity for active and effective listening.
5) You listen before there are words.
Effective listening goes far beyond the words being spoken. It goes beyond the conversations we have. Listening well involves preemptive diligence, awareness, and investment in the people around you.
Is your co-worker or team member withdrawing? Do they seem tired, disengaged, or frustrated? Be the first to notice. Be the first to start the conversation. So much of effective listening is awareness.This begins with a real investment in the people around you. It begins with being intentional. From there, you can better read and recognize the need for conversations and communication that has not yet happened.
What are your best strategies for effective communication in leadership? Share in the comments.