As people, we’re prone to making comparisons. Often, these can be split-second, subconscious evaluations. Comparisons, on their own, are not a bad thing. We compare the flavors of food. We compare strategies and plans. Comparison, when neutral and done in the name of strategy, isn’t bad. Comparison is bad when it pits people against one another.
As leaders, it’s our job to influence others. Some say that leadership is influence. We want to see others achieve their potential, be the best they can be, and often, work towards success in a common goal.
There’s a saying that says “comparison is the thief of joy.” While this is true, making improper comparisons to others will destroy much more — including your leadership potential.
3 Ways Comparing Yourself Hurts Your Leadership Potential
1) It Skews Our Definition of Success
How do you measure success? This is one of the first questions to answer when setting out to accomplish a task, create a business, or lead towards a goal. When our measure of success is rooted in the comparative performance of our colleagues and rivals, our standard becomes skewed. The other guy might not be reaching his full potential. He might not be doing things right. So if he’s your standard, then your benchmarks are going to be off!
We come to three possible conclusions when comparing ourselves to others:
We’re inferior
We’re superior
We’re on equal footing
The first two conclusions are much more likely and equally as damaging in leadership. Feelings of inferiority can breed jealousy and insecurity. Their success becomes our failure. Feelings of superiority, on the other hand, can bolster our ego and blind us to flaws and learning opportunities. We see others as “less” than ourselves, which can even lead to a reduction of human dignity and value.
2) We See Competition, Not Collaboration
Healthy competition can be a good thing. It can also be self-interested and damaging. In leadership, collaboration is much more valuable than competition. We become focused on our own image, our own results, me, me, me, when competition is at the forefront. This can damage the interests of the whole and be, in effect, counterproductive.
3) It Damages Motivation
Feelings of both inferiority and superiority can kill motivation. We either no longer see the point in our work if we will seemingly never measure up to others, or we will see no point in getting better and innovating if we already see ourselves at the head of the pack. Either way, comparison discourages growth and innovation.
It makes us resistant to learning and trying new things. We don’t want to fail, namely because it will make us look bad next to others. Those willing to take risks don’t worry about image. They don’t worry about comparisons. They just do — recognizing that they can always be a better, smarter, more effective person than they were yesterday.
3 Ways to Make Right Comparisons
1) Yourself versus Yourself
There are a few ways to make the right comparisons. One is to compare yourself to...yourself! You should be your prime benchmark for growth and success. Are you better than you were yesterday? Last month? Last year? Are you pushing yourself to learn new skills and accomplish new things?
Listen: self-reflection is one of a leader’s greatest tools. Examine yourself. Set your own benchmarks for success. You have unique experiences, gifts, and positions to be an utterly novel and incomparable leader. Allow yourself to see your own potential and your own merits — not how you measure up against others.
2) Comparing in Context
Context matters when we make comparisons. Let’s use food as an example. Is it fair to compare the quality of a fast-food burger to that from a Michelin-star restaurant? Absolutely not! One comes with more experience, knowledge, and artistry behind it. Context matters. If you have five years in the industry, don’t expect to be at the same level of success as the guy who’s been in the game for twenty.
If you’re going to make comparisons, make sure they make sense in context. Otherwise, you run the risk of holding unrealistic expectations.
3) Compare to Learn
Comparisons work when we’re trying to learn something. Comparisons, many times, are focused on feelings. You can compare yourself to a leader in your industry by looking at what he knows that you don’t. Then pursue that knowledge. If you make a comparison, make it actionable. Make it motivational. Instead of comparing as a means to measure your progress, your worth, and your success, use comparison as a means to expose where you have the opportunity to grow.
What do you do when you’re tempted to make comparisons? Let me know in the comments.