As leaders, we’re often called to wear many different hats. We feel the pressure to be the idea guy, the confidant, the decision-maker, the mediator, the influencer, the coach, and the strategist. Sometimes the pressure to be all things to all people leaves us feeling drained and inadequate.
What if we can’t do it all?
I’ll go ahead and expose the harsh truth: you can’t do it all.
When you find yourself feeling overwhelmed and out-of-place, center yourself on your first priority: self-leadership.
We can’t control our circumstances or what other people do, but we can control ourselves, our actions, words, and work ethic. Self-leadership is at the center of successfully leading others. Self-leadership is exactly what it sounds like: your ability to lead, motivate, and inspire progress in yourself.
Self-leadership is hard. If it demands anything of us, it demands discipline! From this foundation of leading ourselves with purpose and discipline, we become effective leaders. It’s so easy to get lost in the weeds but focus on this first. Before you can lead anyone else, you have to lead yourself well.
Here’s how you can master personal discipline and become the leader you’re meant to be.
5 Ways to Master Self-Discipline
1) Stop and Reflect
Self-discipline isn’t just about doing what you say you’re going to do. Though that’s a big part of the equation, self-discipline also demands that we make a consistent, conscious effort to understand and better ourselves. After all, leadership, at its core, is about bringing out the very best of our potential. We can’t flourish or be all that we can be if we’re unaware of how and why we think and act the way that we do.
Reflection is necessary. Take note of when you procrastinate versus when you’re productive. Think through your mood, your thoughts, and your physical condition. You might learn that a different time of day is more productive for you. You’ll see how you operate — and thus, you will be able to parse out bad habits that are holding you back as well as reinforce the good things that keep you on track!
2) Know Your Weaknesses
We all have our weaknesses. Self-discipline starts with self-awareness. Weaknesses are not only the things we’re not so good at, but they’re the areas in which we lack self-control. Maybe you’re trying to get fit but have a weakness for sweets. Maybe you’re working on a big project but your temptation to check social media derails your momentum. It could be that your personality causes you to avoid confrontation and tough conversations.
Be aware of both weaknesses and strengths. Lean into the strengths while also take steps to improve upon the weaknesses. We all have bad habits and blind spots that hold us back, but we don’t have to get stuck in the same pitfalls over and over again.
3) Flee From Temptation
Once you know your weak spots, you can start to deal with them. First things first — flee from temptation. If you can’t seem to stop yourself from unhealthy indulgences, remove the temptation by not bringing these things into your life. You don’t need to prove to yourself how strong your willpower is by dangling the carrot in front of your face. Remove the carrot and focus on what you really want!
In the same way, set up boundaries for yourself to manage the temptations that you can’t get rid of entirely. Put your phone across the room or deep in your desk. Disable social media apps. If you’re distracted by coworker conversations, invest in noise-canceling headphones.
Recognize where you stumble and then remove easy-access to the same mistakes.
4) Find a Passion Project
What makes you come alive? I find that even if we enjoy our careers, passion projects are where we shine. It might be a hobby — woodworking, running, gardening, writing, or otherwise — or a long-time dream you want to see become reality. Regardless of what these passions are, they are where you can truly hone your discipline.
Because these passions are often things that are their own reward, with no outside compensation, we have to drive ourselves forward. When you truly want to do something, you will remove the barriers that prevent you from doing it.
While we can’t all dedicate 100% of our time to passion projects, we can take these moments and learn from them. Use your passion project to cultivate the behaviors that inspire daily self-discipline.
5) Get to the Harsh Truths
Remember those blind spots I mentioned earlier? Unfortunately for us, we’re limited by our perceptions. Self-evaluation and self-judgment are often ineffective because we fail to recognize or rationalize away our harmful behaviors.
This is where you need others to hold you accountable. Do you surround yourself with yesmen? Or do you encourage constructive, honest criticism?
I encourage you to bring people into your life who can criticize you without fear. You need the people who will lovingly but honestly point out your bad habits, your annoying tendencies, and all the ways in which you sabotage yourself. Honest outsiders can help you recognize where you still have room to grow!
How do you cultivate self-discipline? Share your strategies in the comments.