None of us enjoy conflict. With that said, it’s inevitable. We will be and often are around people we don’t entirely get along with. Even if you do get along, mistakes and misunderstandings can be a source of conflict, too.
Conflict avoidance is common. We all want to be liked, accepted, and at peace with the world and those around us. It makes sense that most of us try to avoid conflict if possible! I think part of this, though, is our misunderstanding of what healthy conflict is.
Healthy conflict isn’t red-faced shouting and hurling insults. Healthy conflict is about resolution and restoration.
We fail when we avoid conflict in the workplace or when we approach it in the wrong way.
How Conflict Avoidance Puts Your Company in Jeopardy
Communications Breakdown
Avoiding conflict creates an “elephant in the room” situation in the workplace. When everyone knows that there is an issue that needs to be addressed, they can sense it. It puts your team on edge and can cause them to feel disconnected and out-of-place. Avoiding problems leads to avoidance in general. This hampers our ability to communicate honestly and effectively. In the end, this throws the whole team out of sync.
Goodbye to Teamwork
Unaddressed issues isolate individuals by creating tension and animosity. This leads to a breakdown in teamwork and collaboration, leaving work less productive, less effective, and strained. When you no longer feel and work like a team, it will be reflected in your outcomes.
Poor Customer Relations
Every industry, every workplace, has customers. Customers may not be present in the same way as they would be in a brick-and-mortar retail store, but they are there nonetheless. Believe it or not, customers are impacted by the company culture and environment. They can sense dysfunction. Even if they don’t, customer service and communications can be compromised by in-office strain brought on by unaddressed conflict.
Looking for Greener Pastures
A strained workplace environment not only damages inter-office relationships. It can break them altogether. A toxic atmosphere — which can certainly be created by the aftereffects of conflict avoidance — leads your best and brightest to look elsewhere for employment. Retaining your team isn’t just about pay and benefits. It’s about creating and sustaining an environment that people want to work within.
How Great Leaders Tackle Conflict
The first thing I want to make clear is this: healthy conflict is not about winning. It is about resolutions.
When we approach workplace conflict to win or be right, we’re already setting ourselves up for failure. Conflict management, at its core, is about communication. It is not a fight to be won.
Use Facts, Not Attacks
First things first, approach any conflict with facts. Framing these properly is key. Make sure that you refer to actions and results, not to the character of the person being confronted. For example, instead of, “you did this wrong,” change your phrasing to be about the work. “This needs to be changed for reasons x, y, and z.”
When you present your case, leave room for a response without interjecting a rebuttal. Trying to defend and further justify yourself — particularly by interrupting — is a recipe for an argument.
Give the Benefit of a Doubt
Every conflict is kept in-check when you try to think the best of the people you must confront. Approach your team, your coworkers, your employees, with their best intentions in mind. You don’t want to assume that someone is doing something wrong on purpose or to spite you. When you give people the benefit of the doubt and focus on their good qualities, not only will your approach soften, but others are more likely to see confrontation and criticism as a means of bettering themselves.
Keep Emotions in Check
We’re emotional by nature. It’s just part of being human. Emotions and conflict, however, are often a recipe for disaster. When we allow ourselves to get flustered, angry, and offended, we tend to have knee-jerk reactions. If you feel yourself getting heated during a conflict, there is nothing wrong with stopping the conversation. You can say, “I feel myself getting too hot about this issue. I want to be able to have a calm and clear discussion. Let’s talk about it again later..”
See the Opportunities
Lastly, see conflict as an opportunity. It is a chance to better yourself and others, a chance to discover how you can improve communication, systems, and skills. Healthy conflict (and resolution) should lead to personal and professional growth. It exposes where growth is needed. If we utilize conflict and criticism properly, it strengthens the entire team.
How do you handle conflict in the workplace? Share your strategies in the comments.