Self-confidence is a mighty but surprisingly fragile thing. As a leader, an entrepreneur, and professional navigating the world, self-confidence is essential to success. It’s not about having a big ego – it’s developing confidence in your skills, abilities, and judgment. When you have this confidence, you can get big things done!
Of course, there are things that can rattle our self-confidence. When a plan fails, a relationship fizzles out, a contract falls through, or life just disappoints, it can take a toll on your self-confidence.
Here are the signs you’ve lost faith in yourself – and the big secret to getting it back!
7 Signs Your Self-Confidence is Gone
Sign #1 – You can’t accept a compliment.
Accepting a compliment isn’t a sign of arrogance. If you find yourself downplaying or explaining away compliments rather than accepting them with a “thank you!” then your self-confidence is likely waning. You may not feel like you deserve the recognition or that the compliment isn’t true at all. Recognize that whether or not you believe in it, the person who gave you that vote of confidence does.
Sign #2 – You don’t socialize like you used to.
A lack of socialization when you’re normally highly engaged with others can signify a lack of confidence. You may feel more judged by others or anxious about impressions and appearances. This doesn’t necessarily mean that you withdrawal completely; rather that you’re more prone to put up barriers between yourself and face-to-face interactions. An increase in reliance on texting, email, or other impersonal forms of communication signify a lack of self-confidence.
They’re not a bad thing, but if you use them to avoid in-person conversations, it should be a warning sign!
Sign #3 – Negative thoughts invade.
Excessive negative or intrusive thoughts when you’re going about your day may signify low self-esteem. These negative thoughts can come in different forms but be particularly on the lookout for all-or-nothing thinking. The ideas that you’ll “never” accomplish anything or that things will “always” be the way that they are now. These negative thoughts can be about yourself, your situation, or your abilities.
Sign #4 – You second-guess every decision.
For the professional, perhaps the most important aspect of self-confidence is in decision-making. While every decision must be approached with diligence, objectivity, and good information, a lack of self-confidence will have you doubting yourself even if you’ve done everything right. You might seek out the opinions and validations of others – whether their opinion is truly helpful – for a sense of security and confidence.
Sign #5 – Challenges are too daunting.
If your confidence has been dwindling, you’ll also be less likely to take on challenges and risks moving forward. It won’t be that these aren’t good opportunities or that you wouldn’t be able to handle them – rather, your lack of faith in yourself and your ability. If you find yourself feeling apprehensive or adverse to worthwhile challenges, beware!
Sign #6 – You fixate on worst-case scenarios.
If you find yourself constantly dwelling on worst-case scenarios, your confidence in your ability to succeed is lacking. This is like facing a barrage of negative, invasive thoughts, but catastrophizing takes it just that further. You won’t just consider the potentially negative outcomes; you’ll dwell on them: unable to imagine a world where you get a win. This shows an extreme lack of self-esteem!
Sign #7 – You feel the need to micromanage.
The compulsion to micromanage suggests insecurity and a lack of faith in yourself and those around you. When the buck stocks with you and you’re not feeling confident, you may find yourself overly involved in getting the job done, whether that job belongs to you or not!
Reignite Self-Confidence in ONE Step
Getting your self-confidence back isn’t always easy. It takes time to bounce back after a string of defeats and disappointments, but it isn’t impossible! In fact, I think you only need to ground yourself in one essential truth to get back on track.
Your worth as a person, a boss, a professional, and a leader is not limited to or determined by your success or ability to contribute.
We live in a culture that glamorizes and glorifies self-reliance and getting results. It’s so easy to put your identity in your performance and occupation. You can, however, keep your self-esteem despite circumstances if you see your worth as something unchanging. Not determined by ever-changing seasons of success and failure.
What helps you feel more confident in yourself? Share your tips in the comments!