Have you ever been passive-aggressive? Most of us have, at one time or another – demonstrated avoidance, undermining clear communication, and appeasing without follow-through. Some passive-aggressive behaviors are easier to spot and call out than others, but all are utterly toxic to the workplace.
Passive-aggressive behavior creates an unhealthy cycle of miscommunication, frustration, and avoidance. It erodes teamwork, productivity, and overall office morale. Addressing it promptly through open communication, feedback, and conflict resolution can help prevent it from becoming a major issue. But it can be easier said than done!
Here’s how to begin to heal from an office turned passive-aggressive.
7 Ways to Deal with Passive Aggression at Work
Strategy #1 – Model desired behavior.
Leaders should set an example by communicating openly and directly, even in challenging situations. This shows your team how to address issues without resorting to passive-aggressive tactics. Don’t let your emotions cause bad behavior, even when frustrated or hurt. If anything, show your colleagues that you value them – and your collective success – over your feelings.
Here’s my rule of thumb: if I’ve been hurt or offended, I weigh whether or not it’s worth addressing. If not, I let it go. I refuse to bring it up or hold it against someone if I am unwilling to bring up my grievances immediately.
Strategy #2 – Understand the sources of passive aggression.
What causes passive-aggressive behavior? Many things contribute to these attitudes and actions, but understanding them can help get to the root of the problem. It’s not as simple as someone choosing to be difficult. Passive aggression can stem from:
Fear of confrontation – They may see passive aggression as a gentler way to communicate the issue. It isn’t, but it might seem more viable than direct, healthy conflict.
Past hurt – They might not be used to a workplace environment that values feedback and healthy communication. It can make someone reluctant to be forthright.
Low self-esteem – A lack of self-confidence can lead to difficulties asserting themselves or expressing dissatisfaction directly.
Instead of solely calling out negative behaviors, identify the core issues at play.
Strategy #3 – Address it head-on.
When passive-aggressive behavior happens, address it promptly in a private, non-confrontational manner. Avoid letting the behavior slide, as it can escalate over time. When you see passive-aggressive actions (like sarcasm or undermining comments), provide clear, constructive feedback on how the behavior affects the team and the work environment. As much as possible, be generous in how you approach it. Most people aren’t passive-aggressive out of malice.
Strategy #4 – Encourage feedback.
Your team must feel safe expressing opinions, concerns, and even disagreements without fear of judgment or punishment. A culture where feedback is welcomed and valued reduces the need for passive-aggressive behavior. You can help by regularly checking in with each team member. What do they think is going well? What can be better? What are their current frustrations or pain points? Not only can it help you gain insight, but it helps your team feel valued and heard.
Strategy #5 – Promote accountability.
No one should be exempt from accountability. Set the expectation that passive-aggressive behavior will not be tolerated, regardless of rank or position. Yourself included. Be willing to apologize when you mess up. Define consequences for chronic offenders and follow through, regardless of position.
Strategy #6 – Clarify roles and responsibilities.
Sometimes, these communication issues stem from a lack of clarity. Misunderstandings around roles and responsibilities often fuel passive-aggressive behavior. Ensure that everyone understands their duties and is held accountable for their performance.
When assigning tasks, write everything down so there’s no ambiguity. This can help prevent frustrations due to unclear expectations or perceived unfairness.
Strategy #7 – Provide conflict resolution resources.
Healthy conflict resolution skills aren’t innate. We must learn and practice them. This might demand specialized conflict resolution training, but it may be as simple as modeling and teaching the skills to others as you go. Prioritize support systems and programs for team members who may be struggling.
Passive aggression isn’t fun to deal with. I won’t pretend otherwise. And I know how easy it is to want to fight fire with passive-aggressive fire. But when you take the high road – as uncomfortable as it may be – your business and relationships will benefit.
Have you been on the receiving end of passive-aggression at work? Share how you handled it in the comments.