Think you know a narcissist? It can be much more than an arrogant know-it-all! Narcissists, in a broad, general definition, are overly self-involved individuals. Then there’s the clinical definition in which a narcissist is a person suffering from Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) which demands a diagnosis after extensive psychological evaluation.
While pathological narcissism is relatively rare (impacting less than 1% of the population according to Psychology Today), narcissistic traits are not so uncommon. Even if you’re unlikely to encounter a true diagnosable narcissist, a potential client, employee, or business partner that displays the signs is someone to be wary of.
As entrepreneurs and professionals, dealing with narcissists means risking your business. Unfortunately, it can be tough to spot a narcissist before it’s too late!
Remember – don’t label or diagnose others. That’s not your job. Your job is, however, to protect your livelihood and your reputation. And that means watching out for these red flags.
The 9 Qualities of a Narcissistic Personality
While not every narcissistic person will have NPD, the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, 5th Edition offers us insight into key characteristics to watch for:
1) A Lack of Empathy
A lack of empathy is a hallmark of many personality disorders. This makes people unable to identify with the needs, feelings, and concerns, or plights of others. Many narcissists have learned how to feign empathy and care, but they will never put someone else above themselves and may not understand how their words and actions impact others. In general, they lack the ability to connect with other people truly and deeply.
2) Overblown Self-Importance
Continuing the thread of a disconnected personality, the narcissist will struggle to engage others with their time and attention. Their sense of self-importance means that they will mentally tune out others in the middle of conversations, listen to respond or rebut rather than understand, and will turn the conversation back towards themselves and their accomplishments.
3) Behaving and Valuing Special Status
Narcissists believe that they’re a special breed of person who belongs in all the exclusive institutions, belongs with “special” people, and is above others of “lesser” status. This often leads to poor treatment towards those perceived as below them. They are prone to name drop and brag about access to exclusive events, places, and people.
4) Craving Admiration
All of us want our good work acknowledged. The narcissist needs it. Not only will they do whatever they can to turn the spotlight towards their success, wealth, and accomplishments, but they will blow perceived slights out of proportion. They don’t take criticism well – even the constructive, well-meaning kind.
5) A Sense of Entitlement
The narcissist believes that they deserve the best. Not because they’ve worked hard, not because they’ve genuinely earned it, but because they are who they are and they’re better than you. This sense of entitlement permeates relationships, both personal and professional. They will take what they see as rightfully theirs and will not handle anything that diminishes their “special” status well – from correcting them to saying “no.”
6) Using Others for Their Gain
Picture a classic 1980s skeevy businessman. These masters of the rat race win not by integrity and hard work, but by stepping on anyone and everyone on their way up the ladder. People are only valuable to them for as much as they can benefit their image, career, and wealth. They rely on flattery, are not likely to do favors in return and, if anything, will quickly discard people, relationships, and loyalties that no longer serve their interests.
7) Often Envious
Narcissists are the green-eyed monsters of jealousy. It’s not enough that they want to be the best – they also don’t want anyone else to be take the top spot. If someone else gets attention and accolades, they’ll try to steal the spotlight. This usually means tearing down the other person under the belief that it is impossible for anyone to be more successful than they are.
8) Undeniable Arrogance
You know the type. That person at the company mixer that can’t stop talking about themselves. They brag about everything – their hot wife, their incredible sports car, their portfolios, piles of money, and rugged good looks. They are masters of the humble brag. On the outset, the narcissist can seem incredibly charismatic. Their arrogance isn’t always transparent!
9) Living Out Power Fantasies
The narcissist is likely to talk about their pie-in-the-sky dreams, the vacation home they’re going to buy, the grand adventures they’re going to take, and all the success they’re going to have. They say this not from a place of genuine self-confidence or ambition, but to present a powerful image.
How Narcissists Threaten Your Business
Narcissism is not the same as having ambition. It’s not the same as being confident. Narcissism often covers up a deep well of insecurity and emotional baggage (certainly in the case of diagnosed NPD!). In business, a narcissistic boss, co-worker, employee, or client can mean:
· Taking credit for the good work and ideas of others
· Passing the buck and the blame off onto others
· Denying responsibility in failures, problems, and miscommunications
· Refusing correction or criticism
· Having charm but no follow-through
· A lack of loyalty, care, or personal investment in your business, success, and well-being
· Using others to get ahead
If you suspect a narcissist is in your midst, tread carefully! Regardless of their role in your business you may find your success stifled and your reputation compromised.